Working From Home Is Beautifully Brutal

Me too, Bruce ... me too.

Let's clear this up right away - I LOVE my jobs - all of them.  The first person to tell me I don't sound grateful will receive a smoking bag of USED cat litter--and probably a rude gesture emoticon.  (Thank you, Apple) 

I've worn a lot of hats career-wise in my decades years of working. I've worked outside the home both full and part time, had a few small businesses, raised kids, been a military wife ... all while always finding some way of contributing financially while still giving the majority of focus to my kids.  I helped Wes get through two Associate degrees, a Bachelor degree, AND a Masters degree. Meanwhile, I sort of forgot what it was like to be just Jamie.  I think that's a common thing for SAHMs, and I wouldn't trade it, but it was time to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up now that my little chicks didn't need me as much.

So I not only reentered the world of employment, but I did so with something so completely out of my comfort zone that I'm still surprised by it some most days. I'm so absolutely thankful for the work I do from home.  And I love it.  And I'm a bit nuttier for it, but most people didn't know me beforehand anyway. *shrugs* My relatives often think I've lost it. *snort*  The joke's on them--I'm as weird as I ever was.

There are fantastic benefits to working from home, and I'm quick to point them out.

•  I can still take my kids back and forth to school and have every day since they started.
• When someone is sick, I'm here to take care of them.
• When I'm sick, I don't have to call in!
• Working from home means feeding my inner introvert in the best way when I really don't feel like "people-ing".

• My schedule is flexible to deal with life stuff, and I can work on-the-go whether I'm traveling, sitting at school functions, or sitting at the car dealership for the umpteenth freaking time. (no bitterness there, stupid car) 
• I can look as ugly as I want, and my two cats don't care. And because cats.

• I have my dream computer, keep updated w/ phones and iPads (for the most part), and I can write it off.  Not to mention the days I work at Starbucks, the coffee is a write-off as well.

• When I work at home I never run out of coffee, and the bathroom is always nearby.
• I can play the music as loud as I want, and the only people who might care are the neighbors if I have the windows open.  Sorry, neighbors.
• I work with AMAZING people that I admire very much.
• I've MET amazing people that continue to bless me daily and make me smile.
• I have the chance to learn new things constantly, and that's a big deal for me because I LOVE learning new things.
• I've been forced to push so far outside my comfort zones that I'm evolving and have no idea where it will go -- which can be a great thing!

• Having to be careful what I post online means I'm thoughtful about it and tend to not end up in pointless debates about explosive topics.  I am NOT inclined to debate.
• The books ... oh the books ... the wonderful, awesome, amazing books by wonderful, awesome, amazing people.
• ... I could go on for days.

As awesome as all of those things are, there's no such thing as the perfect scenario. Regardless of the advantages, not everyone is equipped personality-wise to work from home no matter how much they think they could do your job better. *wink* Even a perfect-for-you career has trade-offs.

• When I'm sick, I still work.  No kidding, I was yakking awhile back and still working in between bouts of heaving.  Is it required? No. It's just the way I'm wired.
• With my main job, I'm connected online *mumbles* hours a day, no matter where I am, what's going on, and who I'm with.  Not everyone gets it but most understand. Don't get me wrong, I love it, but I look like an addict to anyone who doesn't understand what I do.
• I feel G-U-I-L-T-Y if I take time off, and I am entirely uncomfortable until I am back online and plugged into whatever I'm working on or keeping up with the various aspects of social media.  But I feel G-U-I-L-T-Y if I don't stop and focus on the kids when they finally deem my presence worthy want to talk.

• No one advocates for me BUT me. I don't have a set of guidelines or corporate rules I can shelter under.  When it comes time to deal with anything, the buck always stops with me. I'm not overly assertive, and that can be is a challenge.  I'm bound by necessary discretion on many things, and that leaves little room for asking advice when I have a business snafu.
• The looking ugly thing backfires when you start to resent days you have to actually dress like a grown up and leave the house for more than school pick up.

• That whole "writing off" thing means I have a CPA, have more complicated taxes, and have more to keep up with than W2 forms or basic tax deductions. And taxes.
• There's no downside to the coffee, so forget that.
• That evolving thing requires stretching comfort zones, which is not always pleasant.  Learning to balance being an introvert with needing to be "on" all the time for my main job isn't easy.  It's GOOD for me--and I'm thankful for the growth--but it's not the piece of cake people assume.

• On the downside to being careful what I post online, it makes me overthink A LOT. 
• I'm a perfectionist, and I try TOO hard, which is often annoying to people stuck working with me.  Oh, and I over clarify.  Ugh -- those poor people who work with me. *whispers* sorry
• I often don't know how to describe WHAT I do overall because it's SO multi-faceted for many reasons.  I tend to dumb it down, which makes it seem insignificant and like I'm just addicted to my phone/iPad/computer.  I mean, I am, but it pays to be. *wink* 

• If you accidentally misspell something or make a small error, working online means coming in contact with that certain group of people who are dying to call you out.

• In the same tone of the previous point, when you accidentally mistype something or make an awkward comment, EVERYONE sees it online -- and judges you.

• Last but not least, I still have all of that pesky "running a household" stuff to keep up with on top of working full time+. Laundry, kid ferrying, school functions, regular world tasky crap ... it all waits to be finished no matter how many work hours are put in.

At the end of the day, no matter how long it's been, I love what I do and every single person I work with.  I don't feel guilty for the random perks because I work pretty freaking hard for them.  In the beginning I felt like I shouldn't say it's awesome because it would sound like bragging.  I've since realized I don't have to feel guilty for working my butt off, working ungodly amounts of hours, and putting my whole heart into what I do.  NOTHING is all roses and sunshine, and no matter how awesome the job, no one else sees everything that goes on behind the scenes. I'm a workaholic, but I'm also a work in progress, so I'm still learning and have infinite amounts to absorb.  I'll get some of it right, and lots of it wrong, but in the end there's a balance of awesome moments and not-so-much-awesome moments--with a bit more weight on the former. 

And that's all I have to say about that ... for now...well, until the edits below...

Edited to add:
One year from this post has brought about SO many changes.  The learning never stops, and I love that part.  I love what I do more now than ever.  It challenges me, it keeps me busy, drives me bonkers, and generally keeps me in a constant flux of not being caught up.  But I'm blessed, stressed, and comfortably dressed. HA!