Thursday, September 8, 2016

And So She Jumped...




Why the ellipses?  First of all, I really dig them.  I feel like it means I'm not quite finished.  Some people get into the semicolon—I like ellipses...


A couple of years go I was this quiet introvert attempting to go through life as unseen as possible.  I've mentioned my comfort zone many times, and I will continue to do so.  Because it's relevant...


I'm sure it's no surprise that I love books. (I didn't get the title #bookpusher just randomly, you know). I'll always be ready to recommend my favorites.  I downloaded a book by an indie author, and I was swept away—then I downloaded more.  I reached out to thank her for such great stories, and like social media tends to do, it led to more...*shrugs* I found out she would be traveling through my area a couple of summers ago, threw together a small meet and greet, and had the chance to meet her in person...


Something significant that stood out to me the more I learned about her was she had reinvented herself.  She set goals, she met them, set new ones...you see where this is going.  She didn't let being uncomfortable deter her from doing things in life.  That was exactly what I'd always done, and I was pretty tired of myself. Rather than seeing life as full of adventures and possibilities, I felt like I had to keep my comfort zone sweater tightly clasped around me.  I wanted to keep people at a distance because I'd been hurt and thought it was the only way to protect myself.  Here's where the real transformation took place... (<--- just love those)




As much as I never liked calling attention to myself, I have always loved supporting, praising, and watching others be successful from behind the scenes.  I was a teacher's assistant in high school for three years, and my last job before my oldest was born was working as a personal assistant for a business owner where we lived at the time. I'd never worked in social media, but despite my hesitance I really felt like I could do it. Well, I hoped I could...


Something amazing happened in the process of the new adventure.  I started to grow as an individual.  I started doing things I would've never even considered previously.  Readers trips where I had to *gulp* talk in front of everyone?  No way, that's crazy.  They would think I was stupid. Managing an ever-growing group of people and having to be "on" personality-wise all of the time?  Not possible. I'd sound stupid.  No one would tolerate me. THOSE are the thoughts I had.  But here's the REAL magic.  The more I got to know readers, the more I realized a common theme...people just want to be seen.  No matter their personalities, no matter their backgrounds, people should ALL be made to feel like they are seen...heard...accepted...


I've always believed one of the cruelest things you can do to someone is to ignore them.  I'm not talking about bullies or really awful people.  Let's face it, they exist.  But even when someone is being mildly unpleasant, many times they just feel unseen and unheard.  What does it take to share a smile, a kind word, or just a bit of encouragement?  And the more I worked towards TRYING to make others feel seen and heard and valuable, the more blessed I was by getting to know some truly wonderful people...and they changed me.  I'm not saying I'm no longer introverted.  I truly am—it's an inherent part of me.  But suddenly I wasn't nearly as afraid to speak up and reach out. I didn't feel nearly as scared about being seen.  And for the first time in a long time I allowed myself to make actual friends outside of the SUPER tiny comfort zone I'd maintained...


So fast forward to recent events.  Once again I felt led to let someone know they were seen and mattered. I reached out to someone to simply thank them for a post that touched me, resonated with me.  And it led to conversations and a world of new possibilities.  It was totally unplanned and unexpected, but now I was really in a place of needing to make a decision.  Could I adequately give enough of myself being split between my job managing the author's social media while trying to learn so many things with my new position?  The scope of things I'm learning is so much bigger, and I had to make a decision.  Do I stay safe in my comfort zone sweater...or do I jump in with both feet...


The idea of leaving the groups was gut-wrenching.  Early on the author and I decided to change the name to include the word community because we wanted it to be just that—a community where people could safely come together and feel a part of something.  And all of the readers made it possible to be just that—a community. I'm not leaving just a job, I'm leaving a piece of my heart behind with all of you. I'm going to leave all of the author related groups.  Now before you think that's a terrible thing, understand there's no way a transition can take place if I stay.  It's not because I have to leave or don't want to be here anymore. It wouldn't be fair for me to be in the background because lines would be blurred, and it would be natural for people to default to me for answers. I still have every intention of sharing in your excitement and love of books. I'm not leaving this industry, I'm just moving on to bigger things...

So I jumped...

P.S. I am pretty much on every relevant social media platform (see all the links below).  I'm not leaving social media.  I would GLADLY welcome any of you on my friends list—so feel free to request me and comment, message, etc. I have, and will continue, to enjoy your messages and posts.  You can still ask me for book recommendations. I love it. You can also follow me on this blog where I'll be posting about my new adventures and my regular life-y stuff.  (And obviously making up words like life-y) Please keep in touch as that's the only way to ease the bittersweet feeling of leaving. Come be excited with me because there's so much more to come...

Update one year later...

I'm torn between, "It's only been a year?" and "Wow, it's already been a year?" The decision to jump was the best possible choice I could've made. It led to bigger and better things, some truly amazing people, and opportunities to learn things I'd wanted to learn for a long time. One of the best parts is so many people kept in touch, so it's not like I truly left anyone behind.

Being self-employed is a special kind of challenge, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.  But that is a different blog post and one I wrote already. (HERE if you're curious) *wink* I thought I was leaving for one purpose and ended up going a completely different direction in the best way possible. 

If I've learned anything, it's not to stay too comfortable for too long. Comfort zones often equal complacency and growing stagnant. So get out there and take some chances, learn new things, and remember it's okay to be afraid as long as fear doesn't stop you from trying new things.

I'd love to know about things you've done despite being nervous or afraid. Feel free to reach out and share your experiences. New adventures are the best when you share them!


Meanwhile, I can't wait to see what happens a year from now...


P.P.S.  If you're curious about the authors I'm working with now, send me a message!  I'd love to share with you!